CAPTAINS CORNER FROM A TRUE FOOTBALL PLAYERS POINT OF VIEW
Walney Reserves Vrs Cavs Reserves
A terrible day in sunny Walney, how the hell can anyone live there even in
the summer it’s like the Antarctic. No one from the girlie first team
dropped down to disrupt the team so the management were able to select a
near full strength side the only absentee was the self proclaimed team stud
Chris Benson. Benno did turn up to support the team wearing nineteen layers
of cloths and nipping to the chippy for a sausage dinner. Gladdis and Robb
Spence asked Benno to get them some food for a pre game snack from the
chippy but Benno’s weedy arms were not strong enough to carry the bag.
Robbo was having a good game, have you ever seen Benny Hill?? At the end of
the show there’s always a bunch of people chasing after Benny Hill going
round in circles. Well that what its like waiting for Robbo to pass,
there’s about five defenders running round after him its gets that bad that
most of us stopping running and just wait for him to finish what he’s
doing. If I was a defender id just wait for him up his own
bottom……………because most of the time he runs up his own arse.
We played very well especially as Walney are one of the stronger teams in
the league, it was disappointing that we conceded a goal but apart from
that we did well. Chop was outstanding he attacked everything in fact alls
I have to do is stand behind him and shout at people, its great being
captain one wrong pass and I kick off!
Two more wins and we win the league.
Cavs Reserves Vrs Furness Rovers ‘A’
A couple of the lads from the first team graced us with their presence so
it was a changed line up from our last game however the cavs were able to
field a very strong team. The game was a couple of weeks ago so I can’t
remember that much about it, alls I remember is that I was great. The game
will be remembered for the title celebrations after the game, news filtered
through that wanderers had lost their game so the league title was ours.
There was much jumping up and down and handshaking until Gladdis took his
shoes and socks and counted up to 20 and realised that Kirkby could still
catch us. God knows what he would have done if he needed to count up to 21.
So the corks went back into the champagne and everyone was a bit
embarrassed especially Wrighty who was the divvy that broke the news and
got us all excited!!!
Cavs Reserves Vrs Walney ‘A’
What can I say I’m sure the weather in Liverpool is better than up here,
surprise surprise it was honking it down and the rain threatened to
jeopardise our title winning game and in doing so put a severe damper on
our big night out. Credit must go to the lads who worked hard in the
morning and afternoon to get the pitch playable. Once the game was underway
it was only a matter of time before we went ahead, Walney’s first team is
terrible, the reserves are shocking so the least said about the ‘A’ team
the better. Even Gary Evans scored who was raiding up and down the right
wing like a man possessed, Gary’s rewards for his goal scoring efforts was
a mud pie splattered right in his face. At the final whistle the lads
celebrated Robb Spence was pushed in a puddle resulting in an earth quake
in China and even the evening mail turned up to take our picture. We all
went home put on our discothèque shoes and danced the night away, well I
lasted until about twelve I felt so ill I spent Sunday thinking I was going
to die. Two more league games to go, it’s important we stay focused and go
the entire season unbeaten.
Barrow Wanderers Vrs Cavs Reserves
This game was in the Horne Cup, it was wanderers only chance of silverware
and we knew they would be smarting from loosing out on the league. They
were up for it we were shocking in the first half terrible absolutely
terrible, Waddy was right at half time when he said it’s the worst we’ve
played all season we went in trailing 1-0. The second half was completely
different the wind picked up and we played down a slight hill. We managed
to pull our finger out (of our arse) and wake up, once we equalised there
was only one winner. We won 4-2 and that will mask the performance but we
were just awful and against a better team the game would have been over at
half time. Not going to make any jokes we were rubbish simple as that.
HOWEVER it should be noted that Ste Morgan is sooooo good that he can pass
the ball threw the hole in a Polo. Also before the game Waddy tried to get
us up for the game and after the speech everyone shouts and makes noise.
Normally we all shout things like like Come on Cavs and nonsense like that
however Ste Morgan who must be suffering from torrets shouted “I wanna shag
a boy”, not sure were he was coming from with that one maybe he just got a
bit excited.